Apparently, nicotine products are exempt.

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said “CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.” ~ Dave Barry

Anyone who has spent more than 30 seconds with me knows my disdain for littering in any form. I have a particularly venomous attitude toward those who toss cigarettes out the window because a) it appears these idiots feel that it isn’t littering, b) it is actually WORSE than littering in that it causes fires which endanger lives (human and critter) and property and c) is completely preventable since every goddamned car on the market comes with this crazy thing called an ash tray (or has “ashtray” as an option that one can add for a small sum of money).

Regardless, when some dipshit feels the need to throw their smokes out the window, I get infuriated. So much so that I almost got into a fistfight over it once. True story.

I was coming home from somewhere and forgot about the weekly jackass parade from Denver to the casinos in Black Hawk. So I was stuck in traffic… for a long time. So I am not a happy Stu to begin with then Señor Asshat in the car in front of me decides the dry grass to the right of his car is where cigarettes go. I laid on my horn and shouted at him to pick up his cigarette at which point f-bombs were hurled and fortunately for I don’t know who, the parking lot began to move and I was unable to do the horrible things that were coursing through my very imaginative mind. And to top it off, that car from which the butt was tossed was sporting a volunteer firefighter bumper sticker. I shit you not.

I have promised Rach I will no longer confront jackassery done in my direct line of sight but my blood still boils when I see people using our roadsides as their personal ashtrays.

So tonight, Rach found some litter in our driveway… tossed there, I’m sure, by one of the many douchenozzles who speed up and down our road on a regular basis (don’t get me started). Lo and behold the litter wasn’t a cigarette, but a nicotine gum package. I am not sure if this is a step in the right direction or not.


Did you watch the movie?

World Ocean impact map courtesy of

Out there is our home. Home AUTO, and it’s in trouble. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. That’s all I’ve ever done! That’s all anyone has ever done on this blasted ship.
~ Captain

So there has been a lot of backlash from certain groups surrounding the magnificent film, WALL-E. Apparently, many of these people paid their $9.50 (or whatever movies in their area cost these days), bought their $6 tub of corn and $5 soda, selected their favorite place to sit and completely forgot to watch the moving pictures being projected on the massive screen in front of them.


Now I can understand that some of these groups have misguided ideological mindsets that prevent them from rational thought regarding such notions as human impact on global resources, environment, etc. (c’mon, guys… if you have ever looked at a landfill, or say, Los Angeles, it is pretty obvious we are making our mark upon the planet) but the latest group to take offense at the message contained in WALL-E apparently, consists of the overweight. Gawker has a summary.

So this community of fitness-challenged individuals claims that Pixar has made a film that demonizes the community as a whole for being slovenly and contributing to the demise of the planet. So much so that humans are forced to leave earth and send down cleaner robots (WALL-E units) to help tidy things up so that stuff can actually grow and thrive on the surface once more.

Here is where I start to take offense with their criticism as the film make it abundantly clear using several very obvious and specific examples that the largeness humans have attained in space HAPPENED IN SPACE, not on the earth as these groups maintain in their complaints. Sure, Pixar is trying to demonstrate that our current love affair with throw-away products and super-sized, fat-laden “meals” has contributed directly to the state of the planet in which it has become uninhabitable but by no means have they stated that the morbidly obese are solely (or even at all) to blame.

Example number 1: The evolution of the Captain – In one scene, the ship’s captain looks back at headshots of all his predecessors and realizes that they get progressively more obese as time progresses (started out slim, got fat while in space, get it?)

Example number 2: Fred Willard, not so chubby – Now I am not going to say that Fred Willard is the poster child for fitness but any person with functioning eyeballs can see that he is not obese and according to the movie, he was running the show when humans finally had to abandon (earth)ship. So therefore, one can surmise that there were still some skinny people in charge when the proverbial shit hit the fan.

Example number 3: The back-to-earth instruction manual – This document clearly states (and is backed up by known science) that the humans’ bones may have atrophied during their extended sodjurn in space and this may contribute to their no longer being able to walk in a normal-gravity situation. This would lead us to the fairly obvious conclusion that they got this way while in space instead of pre-departure.

Yes, the characters are all slovenly, and obese, and more interested in television than what is going on around them, and seemingly addicted to Super Big Gulp servings of liquid meals but they redeem themselves and all seem more interested in living (a much more difficult) life on earth than being waited on hand and foot in outer-space. The message of the movie is to wake up, get off the couch and find your fucking dog. (Actually, it is to stop spending all your time in front of the boob tube, stop being wasteful and become a steward of the planet instead of a slave to consumerism. Stop buying plastic shit and oversized meals being foisted upon you by big-box, mega-mall shopping centers and fast food joints.) The larger of the human species are not to blame per se but we may all end up floating around on motorized couches and eating our meals through a straw if we don’t get off our asses and do something about the exponentially escallating impact we are creating on our natural resources.



Solar rant…

You’ll recoup your costs in 15-20 years. ~ Solar industry dipshits

Ok, after reading yet another article tying costs of solar solely to one’s reduction in energy costs, I had to voice in.

I am so sick of this particular analysis regarding the benefits to adding solar to one’s property. Listen, people… solar panels are an investment that will be recouped not only in lower energy costs (immediate cost recoup) but in increased home equity (delayed cost recoup). Anyone who sits there and tells you that this isn’t a worthwhile investment because it will take x number of years to recoup is completely missing the point.

I hear this all the time (and have even been discouraged from adding solar to my home by people IN THE INDUSTRY) due to this argument. “How long do you plan to stay in your home? 8 years? Then it isn’t worth doing.” Seriously guys, you are perhaps the worst sales people on the planet. Improving your home’s energy efficiency directly influences the value of your property. Jeez.

Ok. I feel a bit better now.


Six of one…

If a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump its ass a-hoppin’ – Nathan Arizona

Ok. I have been super lame about updates and for that, I apologize. I have been working a ton, skiing a bit, getting some runs in here and there. Generally doing well. I’ll try to catch you up…

So there are quite a few reasons why I am not the world’s biggest fan of this time of year. Two items jump immediately to mind and, coincidentally, they both involve recently deceased creatures being tied to the roof of some jackass’ car.

Hunting season is the worst. I had the misfortune of driving over to Gunnison during the heart of the season and it seemed like every redneck in the tri-state area was out slaying Bambi. I saw trucks literally filled with freshly slaughtered deer, elk and ATV’s, the redneck triple trifecta. It makes me a little ill.

Quick on the heels of our annual shoot-em-up comes my second least favorite reason to get out the bailing twine and head to the hills – the yearly tree-gathering that prompts idiot city-dwellers to dust off their trusty chainsaws and head to my neck of the woods to chop down the cutest tree they can find, strap it to the roof of their Porche Cayenne and head home to set the damned thing back up again in their living room only to toss it out with several gigantic trashbags full of wrapping paper a mere six weeks later. Wait one year, repeat. Let’s all rush out and kill some trees for Jesus. Hallelujah! Don’t even get me started on the turkeys.


On the lighter side of my brain, I have now logged a half dozen ski days with my latest hop/skip/jump to the newly opened Eldora Mountain Resort. Only one real run open but it was fun to be able to be out the door and skiing within 20 minutes. I am planning to make regular visits to our local area and am hoping the new snow we have received over the past couple of days continues.

I have also been running a bit and am feeling pretty spry, which is nice. I have a loop I do on a fairly regular basis that is probably about 7 miles (not sure). I managed to crank it out in an hour six the other day, which was pretty cool. That pretty much matches my record for the loop. It was fun to just go out, get in a rhythm and be able to keep it up for an hour plus.

We also are set to launch another site within the next couple of days. As soon as it is live, I’ll post the link for you.

I have been watching and listening to a ton of movies of late and have started going back through our collection and playing them in the background while I work. We also went to see two fantastic films in the theater: The Darjeeling Limited and No Country for Old Men. I highly recommend both but would caution that Country is not for the squeamish.

Darjeeling is Wes Anderson’s latest effort and was just splendid. I am sure that the average movie-goer wouldn’t like it as Anderson is never afraid to leave storylines unresolved or to leave much of the backstory to be supplied by the viewer’s own imagination but I find this refreshing in the era of film spelling everything out. Darjeeling is a visual masterpiece and features apt work from all three principals: Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and co-writer, Jason Schwartzman. This is a must-see in my book.

Country is the long awaited return of the Coen Brothers being the Coen Brothers. Their last two efforts (Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers) were both extremely sub-standard fare from the duo who brought Miller’s Crossing, The Big Lebowski, O Brother, Where Art Thou? and other classics to the screen. Country is a return to their heyday with amazing dialog; slow, brooding pacing; and quirky characters. Javier Bardem is outstanding and Josh Brolin turns out a solid performance as well in this highly violent film set in rural Texas. Really one of the best films I have seen in some time.

Here is a brief run-down of other flicks that have been in circulation these past weeks:

  • What ever happened to Baby Jane? – Selected to see just how bad it really was. Bad. Really bad. This thing won awards.
  • Boogie Nights
  • Miller’s Crossing
  • The Big Lebowski
  • Raising Arizona
  • Blood Simple
  • The Hudsucker Proxy
  • The Man Who Wasn’t There (we went on a Coen Brothers bender after seeing Country)
  • Bullet in a Bible
  • Westway to the World
  • The Essential Clash
  • Trainspotting
  • Being There
  • American Beauty
  • Best in Show
  • Stop Making Sense
  • etc. etc. etc.

Aaaaaaand today marks our first (of probably many) vicinity guest forays into the creek. Seems that several times every year some dipshit decides it would be a good idea to test the depth of the creek that runs past our house. Usually this involves hooking a left when a right is recommended, or, as tonight’s hero demonstrated, simply continuing straight. For the past hour and a half our driveway has been occupied by any number of emergency vehicles, gapers etc. and we have endured a steady pulse of red/blue, red/blue, red/blue. Hopefully no one was injured but damn, people…. if you are unfamiliar with a road and/or it is covered with a solid layer of snow and ice, how about trying to keep it at or below the speed limit, okay? Just another helpful reminder from your friendly neighborhood…


The darkness…

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. ~ Albus Dumbledore

Yesterday: Night run – West Mag, 1.25 hours
Today: Hike – Neighborhood, 30 minutes
Tomorrow: Singlespeed ride – 1 hour

Feeling fit and coming down to the final days of preparation for the big event. Last night’s run was a blast. Bob and Brad were kind enough to come up the hill to join me for the nighttime woods adventure. We didn’t die once.

We started on the far west end of Magnolia and basically ran the Habitrail backwards. There were a few people out violating the fire ban but what else is new? Once, during a particularly evil drought, a friend and I were riding in the west Mag area only to come across some dumbass with TWO fires burning in the middle of the day. Sometimes I am surprised we have lasted this long. In any event, just because you are “camping” does not mean you must burn every item made of wood within a stone’s throw of your tent. But I digress…

I am now just getting final preparations set. I think I have everything I need aside from food and whatnot. Just need to organize, pack it up in a nice way so that Megan and Nichole won’t hate me and jam up the hill to the event. It sounds like most of the Crüe is going to head to Leadville next Friday so we should be able to take the afternoon to get everything together. Good stuff.