An open letter to the lazy douchebags who left all their crap on their table at A-Basin today…

A+++ for Douchebaggery

Dear A-Basin Trash-Leaving Douchebags,

Was it really too much to ask for you to clear your table and not leave a trail of trash and discarded food products strewn about? Seriously, I measured and the nearest garbage bin was only 15 feet from your table. You do realize that is where food items and other assorted refuse is to be placed when you are done with it, right? Or did you grow up in some sort of Jetson’s-esque universe where robotic vacuum devices descend upon your eating station to suck up all your waste when you have finished lunch?

I understand that you were probably trying to conserve your energy since you are deathly ill or incapacitated in some way and couldn’t carry your trash all the way over to the garbage bin. On second thought, I suspect you were at the ski area to participate in voluntary outdoor recreation and therefore probably had sufficient energy to accomplish the arduous task of cleaning your table. I also noticed that the mess you made did happen to be on the upper floor of the warming house. Given that there is no elevator in A-Basin’s lodge, I am wondering how you managed to get up that flight of stairs in your weakened state? And descending must have taken courage as well. All those stairs… and so very, very steep.

You are also aware that people other than yourselves enjoy using the facilities, correct? Or are you somehow unable to sense the presence of others in any way? If so, what lonely lives you must live. And I wonder how you keep from having auto accidents and the like since there are, in fact, quite a few people out there milling about from time to time. Or are you just so self-centered that you feel the rules of common courtesy don’t apply to you? Well guess what… they do. And your lack of concern for others makes you the winner of the December 28, 2008 Gigantic Asshole Award for Outstanding Douchebaggery. Congratulations.

~stubert.


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